[ga] Re: Season greetings (Y2K)

[Ellen Rony <erony@marin.k12.ca.us>]

Mark Langston wrote:
> Why was Christmas the only religous
>observance listed?  Why not Chanukah?  Why not any other religous
>observance?


OK, here's something for everyone, sent (and hopefully received) in the
spirit of sharing humor and goodwill during this holiday season:

==========================================================

Christmas and Chanukah to Merge. -AP PRESS

(Undated) (Associated Press) -- Continuing the current trend of
large-scale mergers and acquisitions, it was announced today at a press
conference that Christmas and Chanukah will merge. An industry source said
that the deal had been in the works for about 1300 years, ever since the
rise of the Muslim Empire.

While details were not available at press time, it is believed that the
overhead cost of having twelve days of Christmas and eight days of
Chanukah was becoming cost prohibitive for both sides.

By combining forces, we're told, the world will be able to enjoy
consistently high-quality service during the Fifteen Days of Christmukah,
as the new holiday is being called.

Massive layoffs are expected, with lords a-leaping, maids a-milking and
elves being the hardest hit.

As part of the conditions of the agreement, the letters on the dreydl,
currently in Hebrew, will be replaced by Latin, thus becoming
unintelligible to a wider audience. Also, instead of translating "A great
miracle happened there," the message on the dreydl will be the more
generic "Miraculous stuff happens." In exchange, it is believed that Jews
will be allowed to use Santa Claus and his vast merchandising resources
for buying and delivering their gifts. In fact, one of the sticking points
holding up the agreement for at least three hundred years was the question
of whether Jewish children could leave milk and cookies for Santa even
after having eaten meat for dinner.

A breakthrough came last year, when Oreos were finally declared to be
Kosher. All sides appeared happy about this.

A spokesman for Christmas, Inc., declined to say whether a takeover of
Kwanzaa might not be in the works as well. He merely pointed out that,
were it not for the independent existence of Kwanzaa, the merger between
Christmas and Chanukah might indeed be seen as an unfair cornering of the
holiday market. Fortunately for all concerned, he said, Kwanzaa will help
to maintain the competitive balance. He then closed the press conference
by leading all present in a rousing rendition of "Oy, Come All Ye
Faithful."


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